Public Service Announcement

Background…for work today I have to email a bunch of prospective students about coming to school here. After writing 20+ emails I have this to say:

Every person under the age of 18 should never have the right to choose their own email address.

I swear to god if I have to look at another email address that says something to the effect cutiepie, sweetthang, hustler, or gangstamac I am going to scream and tip over the water cooler.

Seriously kiddies? Are you writing these names thinking that you won’t live to regret this identity that you have constructed? Tattoos have age restrictions, so why not make some for E-identities like email? Obviously dumb dumbs will still make names like sxxycutie4eva after they are 18 kinda like people still get Chinese characters or butterflies tattooed on themselves, but i am going to assume that the number of tragic and lame email addresses would be much lower if there were age restrictions.

Why parents? Why are you letting your kid represent themselves like this?  Kids are writing me asking me about college, and I have to say I honestly take you less seriously when your email says how sweet and naughty you are. These emails are like digital tramp stamps.  So please just stop it. STOP IT NOW. Pick something bland, and let your accessories from Claire’s do the talking.