So I went to see Wanted today with my aunt and unkle. Since I can remember we have been going to the show together. Typically to summer blockbusters.
Anyway I have to say that Wanted was pretty ace. Why?:
1.) Tons of fodder for discussions on masculinity
2.) Surprising plot twist
3.) Pretty witty dialogue
4.) Great revenge narrative that unearths a modern Yoda Luke training segment that is much more fierce.
5.) Angelina Jolie Dies.
Number 5 is what really tipped this movie into the thumbs up category. Why? No it is not because I have some brooding disdain for Ms. Jolie. Rather it totally disrupted the huber predictable and totally played marriage narrative plot. You know the one where boy and girl always end up together and live happily ever after. Bullshit.
I was so happy to see her get offed because it was real. It was brutal. It was honest. People don’t end up together. Specially not after an 1 hour and 40 minute psuedo courtship. That is a hook up. Nothing significant. I hate it when boy and girl fall together in these flicks cause it broadcasts the idea that all boys and girls are potential love matches and it infuses some really tenuous romantic narrative into an action film. This picture stayed honest to itself. It is filmed and structured like a comic book, which is what it is based off of.
So if you dig revenge tales with hot women, sharp but sparse dialogue, and a twist or two then see this flick. Also see the flick if you want to write a journal article or blog entry on what super hero movies are saying about masculinity and what a man should be.
Only awful thing was the whole weaver thing. Come on. Weavers. Really?
Is it super uncool and wrong that I enjoyed Wanted even though I totally get that it is problematic?
Do I make up for it by emphatically saying I hated iron Man?
Is my relationship with my parents kind of like Herpes–meaning there is a flare up every once in a while but for the most part everything is pretty manageable?
Does me liking electronic music make me less Manly?
I am watching the 2008 NBA draft and have yet to see one white (american) get drafted (edit ryan anderson just got picked).
On top of that people are being bought, sold, and traded. One cat (Brandon Rush) was just picked by Portland then traded without any say to the Pacers. He had no control over his body during this transaction.
Not to mention that Stern (a white dude) is hosting this whole thing.
Finally the amount of talk that is dedicated to their bodies makes the comparison crystal clear. I mean the announcers are fragmenting and objectifying these player’s bodies. “look at his power, his wing span, his…” blah blah blah.
What is the difference between this draft situation and the slave trade? Obviously a pay check and there aren’t any beatings or rapes. HOWEVER, one cannot deny that the way that these (mostly black) men are talked about and how their bodies are managed makes the comparison possible.
My B for taking a few days off. In a word,Hospital. Thankfully not me, but someone I love very much.
Anyway I have been driving back and forth from my place in Bucktown and the hospital all week, and like a very irresponsible driver I spend a lot of time blaring bangers and looking at the cool kids on the sidewalk and flashing by me on their fixies (I am not being completely demeaning here-i actually envy all of the young idle rich and their shiny bikes, for reals).
Anywho I noticed something, (male) Hipster fashion aint really meant for the summer (sans the graphic T). Fall yes. Spring yes. Summer fuck no. Why? Flannel, Plaid, cardigans, jeans, cords, beanies, hoodies, facial hair.
Needless to say these articles of clothing don’t breathe. Really they just hold their breath, which has got me wondering-is what makes this stuff cool in the summer the amount of perspiration that comes of these choices?
Why do you think so many “hipsters” try to carry fall fashion into the summer? Is it to emphasize their street cred? To show that they really are struggling artists and cannot afford a summer line? Is it to protest the market that tells us we need new clothes for every season and every year? Is it because they all are just cold hearted and need the layers? Is it because we not only want to look homeless but also want to smell homeless?
I don’t know. I know I am guilty of this. I rock my green beanie regardless of weather conditions. I rock jeans that don’t breathe every day rain or shine. and I like so many of my other comrades in tattoo covered arms I sweat profusely as a result.
So maybe I should start with myself. Why do I do this? Well,
I don’t like shopping in chicago-way too hectic
I am living out of college boxes and have yet to find everything
Finally, I hate shorts, don’t like brushing my hair, and don’t like everyone seeing my tattoos.
So I am watching tv per usual and it is late so one of those 1800 call me adverts comes on. There is this chick saying how she wants me to call and wants to have a good time for the low low price of 1.99 a minute. Obvi the chick that will answer the phone will not look like her. Obvi have a good time means talk drrrty and make use of an old sock. What is not obvious is that this advert would give rise not to my dick but to a great idea…
First let me say that I don’t get why people call these numbers in an age where porn is everywhere, and free, on the internet? I don’t get why people who have an imagination and can delude themselves into thinking that their hand is the sweet sweet touch of a woman would call these numbers. But they do, and people will probably always call these numbers.
Why? cause people are lonely. No shame in that. I am lonely. I mean I write a blog for christ sake. that is like the highest point of loneliness/boredom/arrogance. Yes, in the modern age, no one picks up a guitar when they are lonely…they just start blogging. But that is neither here nor there.
The point is there is a market for assuaging loneliness, and there is money to be made.
My solution/money making scheme?
Develop a phone line that has people on the other line just tell the caller that they love them and that everything is going to be ok. Wouldn’t that be great? It would be like the warm embrace of a parent, loved one, or whoever without all the leg work that real love requires. I bet just hearing it would charge some peptides and get them buzzing causing euphoria. I don’t know, but I think that after just getting fired and having no gf at home I would tottes call the number. I know I would so so def call the number before I called a sex line. I mean the line could be like a therapy sesh–and we all know therapy sells like hot cakes, Which is why i think this is how I am going to pay my college debt.
In sum I am tottes starting one of these bad boys. Be on the lookout.
PS If you steal this idea I will murder your family. This is as good as a copyright.
I think I am totally wasting this title, but oh well.
If you don’t already know, Girl Talk’s new Album is now online. In theory you can pay for it. In actuality it is free. I don’t know about you, but my favorite part of the “purchasing process” was the online survey that asked why you paid what you did. I felt guilty for a minute, but then a remembered that when everyone is a dj these days, that it is nothing special and certainly not worth money.
On Another Note. Here is this band from Japan??? called Polysics.
I will describe their music as this:
Imagine the Ramones and the Jetsons boinking and then their Hyperactive add needing children were raised by the Lead singer of Styxx-during/post the mr.roboto phase.
I am not going to say I like it, but I am not going to say I hate it either. The synth part is really catchy.
I hate power points. Whenever a teacher or classmate utilized this pedagogical tool I basically just zoned out. It is boring and far too linear. Bullet points in general just suck. However, last night I realized that power point presentations do not just exist in the classroom or work world, and sometimes they are G.R.E.A.T.
They also come up when discussing ex-relationships with friends. Obvi people dont bust out their mac book pros (unless they also are bedroom djs), but the reason I say these conversations are like power points is that they take something like a 6 month or year long relationship and summarize it in a 3 minute recap. This is usually done by discursively bulleting the pros and cons of said person.
Example:
They were great, they listened to the same music and were a dynamo between sheets
BUT
They were a fucking looney toon and got mad jelly when I was out.
See what I just did? I just took a complex and long relationship and summarized it in no time.
In these power points the cons always outweigh the pros, which is understandable- cause everyone needs to justify why they are no longer together.
A lot of forgetting happens after a breakup. You need to forget why they were great and why they made you smile. You need to focus on why they were an ass. It is part of the healing process. The powerpoint helps this. You can cut the fat and go right to the sparknotes version of your relationship. Just the facts.
Some other things I suggest when trying to move on are:
1.) renaming their entry in your phone book. Change it from Jane Doe to “Fucking Cunt” Be creative
2.) Don’t listen to alt or pop radio. Way too many songs with feelings. I suggest listening to as much crunk rap as possible. Remember what pleasure is. Remember that you don’t give a shit about feelings or immature things like love.
3.) Read the book “against love.”
4.) Stay away from the Encore Love channel…again way too many feelings and way too much Freddie Prinze Jr.
5.) Obvi Remove pictures and other loaded symbols that will make you think about them…for the bad breakups unfriend them on FB.
Summer Got you Bored? Then make up a verbal power point about the person you were most recently affiliated with. What were the pros, what were the cons? What was forgotten?
So it dawned on me during my road trip from the east coast that in theory i kind of want McCain to win in 08. I know I know. This is pretty blasphemous for a staunch democrat from illinois who is black and majored in Af Am studies, but there are some pretty (ir)rational reasons.
1.) I don’t want Obama to get shot.
2.) I have the suspicion that if Obama wins everybody in this country is going to forget that racism still exists. Everybody will be all like look at that black dude in office, “lets stop thinking that the machine and the institution is keeping black people down, and lets start getting to the real issue…the poor and unsuccessful blacks are just lazy. I mean Obama did it, why can’t they?”
3.) While an Obama win would be great (think health care and a focus on diplomacy and not war), historic, and fun fun fun (fried chicken and watermelon for everyone)-I think that a McCain win would also be kinda great cause Black people (and some guilty leftist educated white people) would flip the fuck out…leading to a revolution. I am talking riot in the streets like LA in the 90s. Maybe NWA would get back together.
Presidential Hopeful Barack Obama recently started running this ad in Kansas.
I don’t know about you but what I got was this:
1.) Obama was raised by White people
2.) White people love Obama
3.) Obama is Like Casper cause he is the friendliest spook around–
I know Obama needs to make ads like this. I know he needs to show that he is not some angry black man
or the kind of black man that is going to gank your shit in some dark alley way, but come on.
This ad is just too fucking obvious and so desperate. It is like a high schooler at a prom desperate.
Ok we get it, white people should not be afraid of you and instead vote for you. I guess we will see how successful ads like this are in a few months, but I really don’t think that this ad is going to make the US stop being racist. If it does. then Barack should start trying to cure aids.
